7 Effective Ways to Manage Anxiety and Stress

Anxiety and stress are words that have become regular fixtures in the collective pandemic and post-pandemic vernacular. While anxiety and stress are normative human experiences, these feelings are meant to be transient and fleeting, observed and allowed to pass through us without necessarily adding judgment or intervention. With that said, lingering concerns about health, economic stability, political division, climate change, and global relations have created a sense of chronic stress that has prompted Americans to seek psychotherapy and counseling services in record numbers for alleviation of symptoms, comfort, coping strategies, and tools. While a blog is never a substitute for tailored mental health advice, I wanted to help by sharing seven of my favorite anxiety and stress busters.

1. Walk It Out

Carving time out of your schedule to get out for a walk or hike in nature can help anyone to feel peaceful and grounded! I prefer to do this in the morning, when I can set an intention for the day, and get to experience an immediate sense of accomplishment for having prioritized self-care. Jim Rohn famously said, “either you run the day, or it runs you.” By taking time for yourself at the beginning of your day, you start some good feelings flowing, and set a precedent for creating pockets of unwind, where you can observe and take pleasure in what is around you. Walking, hiking, trail running, and trail biking also offer the additional benefit of my favorite feel-good chemical- dopamine! Studies have very conclusively found that individuals who exercise regularly are less likely to experience anxiety than those who don’t exercise. Invite a friend, neighbor, a family member, or even a family pet to walk or hike with you and enjoy the double benefit of feeling connected. We at LIFT do regular “walk and talk” therapy in all four seasons (both in-person and telehealth!) to stimulate fresh thinking and processing, change up a routine, and encourage our clients to “move a muscle, change a thought.”

2. Make a Gratitude List

This is a personal favorite way to center, and like #1, it’s a practice best engaged during the morning. With that said, it’s never the wrong time to write a gratitude list! You can write in a journal, in the sand, in a text to your therapist, on a diner napkin at breakfast, in the corner of a book, in your head, or on the notes section of your iPad. A terrific way to keep our minds off of a worry path is to focus thoughts on things that are good, beautiful, and positive about ourselves, and our lives. When we are grateful, we appreciate the value and importance of the people, places, and things who make up our world. I include small, ordinary things in my life on my list (my morning coffee, a book I’m reading or show I enjoy on TV, a joke I heard,) as well as big things (health, my family, my profession, my home.) I encourage clients to try to be as specific, and to include self-appreciation in the list! This can include personal appreciation that you took the time for a self-care ritual (a fresh manicure, a haircut), or even compliments on aspects of you that you are very glad to possess (a good sense of humor, a talent for cooking, a kind heart, a warm smile, a heart for social justice.) It is NO secret that what we focus on increases! Each day brings new problems and obstacles, so we must train the mind to pay attention to the good things. By focusing our thoughts on things that are good, beautiful, and positive, we can keep our minds from dwelling on what troubles us. Make a habit of appreciating your life! Challenge yourself to write down 3-4 pages of gratitude a day. Play some music and write in pretty or artistic handwriting. Include illustrations and exclamation points. If you do this practice daily, try to write different things every day! And, if you’re stumped on what to put down, talk to your therapist and ask her for some ideas. In fact, while you’re at it, put her on your list!

4. Chew Gum

Surprised you with that one, didn’t I? In fact, an intervention study was carried out to examine the effects of chewing gum on occupational stress and related outcomes. 101 volunteers from Cardiff University completed the study. The results showed that chewing gum reduced stress (both at work and outside work), reduced fatigue, reduced anxiety and depression and led to a more positive mood! Fascinatingly, chewing gum was also associated with perceptions of better performance (both at work and outside.) I don’t chew gum every day, but sometimes, on days when I remember to or am very busy, organic/natural gum can serve as a focus enhancer, helping me to stay in the moment and take one task at a time. *Gum is not intended to be over-used, and if you have a history of compulsive gum-chewing and feel this could be a trigger, you can skip right over this step and move straight on to #5!

5. Connect with Other People!

Clients have been reporting loneliness levels to us higher than ever before. The pandemic brought us inward in many positive ways, but many of us are having difficulty reconnecting with our support systems. Call to schedule time to spend with friends and family, whether to hang out or engage in a structured activity. Doing things in-person with those we have deeper connections with and feel close to grows our relationships, allowing us to feel supported and secure. If you feel anxious or stressed about something, talking about it with someone who listens and cares can help you feel more understood and better able to manage. Through openly sharing with others, you’ll put concrete words to what feels like vast emotional overwhelm, and you may realize that you're not alone. Ever feel like you can over-talk about a problem? Try spending time with others in ways that take talking off the table. Skiing, ice-skating, roller-blading, swimming, horseback riding, jumping on the trampoline, cooking classes, movies, concerts, and yoga classes are terrific ways to do so. Fortunately, many of these activities are also easy to enjoy in the pandemic, even as the weather cools. LIFT offers peer support groups that run throughout the year, with virtual and in person options. If you’re feeling perplexed on how to get involved in a peer activity, speak with your therapist to discern if they can get you connected with one of our safe and structured peer groups, or help you to find one that fits.

6. Take a Break from Social Media!

A 2018 University of Pennsylvania study found that reducing social media use to 30 minutes a day resulted in a significant reduction in levels of anxiety, depression, loneliness, sleep problems, and Fear of Missing Out (FOMO.) You don’t need to completely cut back on your social media use to improve your mental health. I am sure that by now, many if not most of you readers have seen the recent news on social media and its averse impact on sleep and mental health. Social media has now been linked to depression, anxiety, low self esteem, and even suicidality, most significantly in teens. (Although, I don’t know why we are surprised that an app designed to objectify and rank “hot” women against one another on a college campus makes women feel badly about themselves!)

I don’t think that responsible use of social media is all bad. Our Instagram handle, @liftwellnessgroup, features lots of body positive accounts, affirmations, mood regulation tools, inspiring stories, and relationship tips. If you look at who we follow, you’ll find a world of resources that are similar. Our social media accounts are almost all mental health related follows, which sure hit differently than the keeping-up-with-the-jones and influencer posts! Remember, what you focus on increases – so change the lens you’re looking at the world through! Cancel the triggering accounts and subscribe to things that make you smile. Social media will take on a whole new utility for you!

7. Get Enough Relaxation, Nourishment and Sleep!

Sitting in front of the TV or computer typically isn't genuine relaxation…Unless we’re talking about Ted Lasso! Depending on what you're watching or doing, it could even make you more tense. The same is true for alcohol, drugs, or tobacco., which may seem to relieve anxiety or stress, but actually create a false state of relaxation that's short lived. If you’re drinking alcohol in the evening to relax, what your body may really need is a few days off, focused on sleep and hydration. In order to really relax, remember that our bodies crave a routine of relaxation techniques. Deep breathing, yoga, meditation or even tai chi are practices that have an immediate demonstrable effect on the mind. In fact, deep breathing helps to relax a major nerve that runs from the diaphragm to the brain, sending a message to the entire body to relax, loosen up and let go!

Have you ever heard of the phrase, “Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired?” When we’re any of these things, we’re on the brink of emotional dysregulation and poor decision making. Not eating enough calories for your Body Mass Index and not eating a well-balanced diet WILL amplify or cause anxiety and stress. If you’re presently undereating or engaging in disordered eating behaviors, speak up and get help from a specialist. You will not feel an improvement in mood until your caloric intake is sufficient for your daily metabolic needs.

Foods that are rich in zinc such as oysters, cashews, liver, beef, and egg yolks have been linked to lowered anxiety. Other foods, including fatty fish like wild Alaskan salmon, contain omega-3 fatty acids. A study completed on medical students in 2011 was one of the first to show that omega-3s may help reduce anxiety. This study used supplements containing omega-3 fatty acids. I don’t enjoy fish, so I take supplements. In mice, diets low in magnesium were found to increase anxiety-related behaviors. Foods naturally rich in magnesium may help a person to feel calmer. Some examples include leafy greens, such as spinach and Swiss chard, legumes, nuts, seeds and whole grains. If you’re under the care of a dietitian at LIFT or elsewhere, ask them about your interest in mood-enhancing foods! After all, food is medicine!

I hope these tips are tangible, helpful and constructive. Let me know if you decide to integrate any of them in your wellness repertoire!

Also, please do note: If you or someone you know has stress, anxiety or worry that feels excessive, it may be a sign of an anxiety disorder. For someone who has an anxiety disorder, getting appropriate treatment from a health professional is important. While these tips are intended to help, personalized and professional treatment is the only way to remedy a true anxiety disorder.

Click here for more information on anxiety therapy.

LIFT Announces Launch of New Parent Training and Peer Support Groups

You’re the first to know of this new virtual programming, beginning April 26 We at LIFT are happy to announce the long-awaited launch of a new weekly training and support group for parents and loved ones of individuals suffering from eating disorders.

As part of our mission to improve eating disorder quality of care, we are especially passionate about providing family support and education. Families who are informed about eating disorders have better outcomes, and effective treatment is aided when family members can be a primary resource in recovery and assisted to cope during the crisis, to deal with the effects of the eating disorder, and to practice supportive parenting approaches. (Roles, BCMJ, vol. 47 , No. 1 , January February 2005.) This series, written and delivered by Mary Dobson, will consist of a seven week training on eating disorders designed to educate, coach, and empower parents on eating disorders, as well as connect parents with a supportive community of peers. 75 minutes will be broken into presentation, open discussion, and question and answer modules.

Mary Dobson is a certified eating disorder expert and licensed therapist. She will cover all aspects of eating disorder treatment, care and research. In this interactive training, families will learn how to create a home environment setting conducive to supporting their loved one with an eating disorder. Sessions will take place on Monday or Thursday evenings from 7-8:15 and space is limited. Please email 📧 mary@liftupwellness.com to register.

Mary Dobson Interview with Hartford Courant

Mary Dobson, LMFT, CEDS, is a mom of two, and CEO and Founder of LIFT Wellness Group, a counseling, psychotherapy and behavioral health group in Westport, Connecticut. She was raised in Fairfield. 

AMANDA BLANCO: What concerns do you have for the female students who were targeted by the bracket? From the perspective of a therapist, how does this objectification harm them, particularly during adolescence? 

MARY DOBSON: “I think that many parents, educators, and providers were surprised by the bracket because we very much wish to believe that the treatment of women has evolved since our own school-age years. The past decade birthed #metoo and a much greater societal awareness of the traumatic impact of marginalization on individuals and groups. Studies show that the objectification of young women leads to low self-esteem in an already vulnerable group. As a certified eating disorder specialist and with a long career treating adolescents, I am particularly concerned about the the phenomenon of self-objectification, which occurs around this age, when young women internalize the culturally idealized images in the media and in their natural environment, and proceed to compare their body image with this ideal. When comparisons are drawn FOR them, as was the case here, pitting them against their friends and peers, this is particularly destructive and damaging to a young woman’s developing self-esteem. As therapists, we look for compensatory behaviors, such as food restriction, exercise, and other forms of body manipulation, as symptoms of this greater malaise brought on by pressures from the external environment to be accepted and belong. 

AMANDA BLANCO: Do you feel it is important to continue talking about this, in public or private discussions? Why or why not? 

MARY DOBSON: What was fascinating in this scenario was that many young women stood up against the posts in question, and used strong voices to demonstrate that they did not find this acceptable. In a way, while this particular situation and behavior was unacceptably and obviously egregious, it is important to continue discussions on as it is a microcosm of what teens report happens daily in school, on the sidelines, and on the weekends during social time. We as humans are constantly judging and evaluating in our heads, and that is an inherent part of normal cognition. With that said, the potential to publicly humiliate and evoke shame grows exponentials with the use of social media. By the time these brackets were removed, literally thousands of eyes had viewed them. Such mass rejection has never been feasible before at any time in history. What do we know of the implications of this on a 14 or 15 year old developing personality? I would be remiss to add that the potential for public shaming of the perpetrators could also cause tremendous harm. Those responsible for the bracket, as out of line as they may have been, have surely suffered more mass rejection over the past week than they could have comprehended. While we hope this will be a learning lesson for all, many parents have not approached it as such. The costs of making a childhood mistake have truly never been so great.

AMANDA BLANCO: Going forward, what steps would you like to see taken by adults in the community to address this situation and prevent similar behaviors from taking place in the future? 

MARY DOBSON: Fairfield County, and the town of Fairfield, is a relatively homogenous community of many upper middle class families. Research shows that the more similar individuals are, the easier it is to compare, contrast and compare. This makes being different especially challenging, particularly as an adolescent. Families and communities featuring individuals who emphasize appearance and status breed children and adolescents who emphasize appearance and status. And, adolescence is a time of heightened image-consciousness. “Bracket-gate” triggered many adult women because of its absurd suggestivity that the public education system is a beauty pageant, where young women go to perform for appraising young men. The entitlement and presumptuousness of this idea is upsetting given the history of disrespect women have received in this country, and how hard we and our ancestors have fought for something close to a level playing field. Some parents suggested that the young women made a retaliation bracket against the young men. One need not be a feminist to know that there is no comparison between the two groups, one of which has been chronically and historically misrepresented (see studies on girls diminished participation in classes in co-ed groups in adolescence) In order to avoid a toxic culture of women who feel they are in school to be graded on their appearance, we need to take a strong stand against the early sexualization and objectification of our children.

Now Accepting IOP Patients

LIFT is pleased to announce the launch of a new virtual eating disorder IOP track, meeting up to six times per week. 

If you find that a loved one is needing extra support, our intensive outpatient programming is now accepting new patients for our HIPAA-compliant telehealth therapy groups, peer support, meal coaching, emotional tolerance and resilience skill building, and accountability partnerships.

Our groups are offered at varied times with options to add or reduce support depending on level of need, week by week. 

To register or request more information, email mary@liftupwellness.com. 

A Therapists’ Reflections on The Rich Significance of The Film ‘Groundhog Day’

Today, February 2, 2021, is Groundhog Day!  

Did you know that some therapists prescribe watching the film, Groundhog Day, to their patients? I feel that it’s one of the most perfect movies and definitely in my personal top 10 (fun fact: I went to college with Bill Murray’s son/have met Mr. Murray, and he is as awesome IRL as he is on screen.) 

Therapists love the movie Groundhog Day because the supernatural time loop serves as a perfect metaphor for how many patients experience and describe their real lives: trapped in routines of jobs and relationships that don’t satisfy, passing the time perfunctorily but profoundly unhappily. 

In the film, Phil alternatively resorts to hedonism, gluttony, sloth, criminality, drunkenness, depressive episodes, and even suicide to cope with the redundancy of the inane boredom of his existential meaninglessness. 

Gradually, Phil begins to take an interest in others. He develops an appreciation for art and beauty through classical music, ice sculpting, and acts of service. Initially even his good deeds are motivated by selfish motives (impressing Rita, who he’s fallen in love with in the time loop,) but along the way the exercise of free will transforms him into a genuinely good person. Then, one morning, Phil wakes up, and his world has finally changed. He's crossed over. One could even say he has awakened, or achieved enlightenment. The meaning of life has become apparent to him, and so his days become colorful and vibrant. He has found purpose in (accidentally) discovering that the degree to which life is worth living is in direct proportion to the amount we create value in our own soul’s maturation, and the extent to which we touch souls around us. 

Therapists love this analogy because prior to their self actualization, our patients often describe life (particularly in a pandemic!) as a repetitious treadmill. And, it can be, when living at surface level. Yet frequently after working with a therapist, exploring deeper facets of the psyche, and uncovering your unique purpose, every seemingly mundane day can feel like a creative adventure, an opportunity to make a difference, impact a life, and generate good karma. 

My favorite takeaway from Phil’s evolution is that he is time and again presented with the exact same day, and the very first time he's presented with it, it's the worst day of his life, yet by the end of the movie, we see that (while it's the exact same day,) somehow it is the best day of his life. 

This secular message is timeless: every day is a gift. How you view it, how you use it, is what shapes and determines your destiny. Every day, no matter what monotonous tasks it contains, can be the best day of your life. One day at a time, in dedicating your life to a purpose greater than yourself, you can and will create a beautiful life worth living. 

We hope you can revisit and reflect on the rich meaning of this great film with some popcorn and cocoa on this snowy winter evening! 

Happy Groundhog Day! 

Hello From The Other Side! — The ‘Real’ About a Therapist Who Gets ‘Coached.’

Like most modern humans, I have been on the receiving end of some really life-changing (and, once, some pretty terrible) psychotherapy, but I have never reached out for personal life coaching. Recently, bogged down in day-to-day management tasks that I was meant to delegate, I realized that I was struggling with an issue that would benefit from another set of eyes, and some support. My difficulty passing off tasks is not rooted in intrapsychic mire, but is an entrenched pattern that could and would be quickly resolved with an accountability partner. I did some research, and sought out the help of a coach.

In my research, I realized exactly what it is about coaching that can turn me off. While I found many well-credentialed individuals (and ultimately, selected one,) I also came across some snake oil. Even as a seasoned mental health professional and certainly informed consumer, I found myself intrigued - yet off-put, by their salesy promises.

Here, I will attempt to differentiate what is good coaching, and what I believe to be harmful to humans out there looking to better their lives. 

And, I’ll be frank. There are a LOT of coaches out there! As I browsed through countless websites, I saw phrases such as “level-up,” “10X,” “mindset.” I felt inspired, but more so, insulted. 

Later, what was bothering me hit me right between the nose. I have spent much of my personal adult life coming to terms with the human that I AM. In therapy, we sometimes speak of biorhythms or emotional biorhythms. I used to feel inferior to the moms who woke at 5am, exercised, showered, made breakfast for the family, and appeared fresh and put together at the bus stop. It has taken years of self-work to wholeheartedly embrace the fact that I am a creative; I am productive at night, this is when I blog, plan, and dream, and I will probably never wake up more than an hour before the bus. And that is okay. Attempting to change this (or try to have it ‘coached’ out of me) would be out of sync with what is fundamentally me, akin to changing eye or skin color. I shudder to think about the books and articles I wouldn’t have read or paragraphs I wouldn’t have written had I forced myself to tune into someone else’s biorhythm, thereby missing my own flow in operation. 

I believe that we have the equivalent of biorhythms in various areas of our lives: personal qualities that are unequivocally characterological and inseparable from who we are. Case in point: it also took me many years of self-inquiry to accept and realize that I am in fact an introvert, and that my extroverted presentation had more to do with the societal rewards and capitalistic gains of extroversion. Accepting this essential truth has meant happily turning down invitations in favor of more nights at home by a fire, reading and fueling my soul, rather than forcing myself to make small talk in a loud room, a compensatory behavior that was created long ago as a cover for true self acceptance and understanding.

Much of the work of therapy is in validation, and rooted in the strong presumption that truth and wisdom, as it pertains to our own lives, lies within, rather than existing externally. Therapy could be called a process by which people become more truly themselves, as the therapy room offers allowance for the true self to emerge. While people do COME to therapy to change, there is so much about therapy that encourages them to STAY to do much harder work: accept. Yes, there are elements that can be altered about our lives - but only after making peace with the perfectly imperfect nature of ourselves, all of the repressed versions of ourselves, and their functions and manifestations. Anything less than this is referred to as superficial, or in systems theory, “first-order change.” 

With all of this said, I was able to select a coach who fits the bill. She operates similarly to the way that the LIFT coaches and I do - refusing to provide answers, but rather offering her full attention to the issues I’d like to address. I feel proactive for taking a step to carve out space and time for problem solving, with the accountability of knowing someone else has been brought in to my dilemma. I also feel renewed motivation and energy from going outside of my comfort zone in order to allow another human into my problem story, so that together, we can try out some solutions that perhaps I wouldn’t have entertained on my own. While coaching is not therapy, there are aspects of the two that can be performed in tandem, and I feel proud that I was open to trying this modality from the other end of the couch.

Tell me about your experiences with coaching, therapy, or therapy that involves coaching. How have the two modalities worked together or separately to accomplish different aims in your life? How are the two similar? Please do share! 

So Your Child Has an Eating Disorder. What Now?

We at LIFT understand that approaching the topic of food with children can be daunting for parents. While we can’t predict our children’s reactions, parents remain the most reliable support for their children, and early intervention has proven to be one of the strongest indicators of recovery. Eating disorders are serious disorders and trying for everyone involved. Support for each family member through this time can be crucial to full and successful recovery. 

First, trust your instincts! You as a parent can often sense when something is off. Often, individuals with eating disorders do not initially notice them. Your observation and swift response can be a powerful tool for early detection, diagnosis, and treatment. You may find it helpful to educate yourself on the warning signs of eating disorders based upon the age and gender of your child. 

It is so important that you do not blame anyone for the development of an eating disorder. Risk and protective factors indicate that it is possible for any one of us to develop an eating disorder at any point in our lives. Instead of spending valuable time and energy in trying to assess and find a cause within the past, the best thing you can do for your child and yourself is to look to the future with hope and determination for recovery. 

Next, schedule an appointment with your child’s doctor. In this appointment you can either address the doctor together or privately. A meeting of this sort would be useful to express a list of your concerns to your doctor and receive professional referrals. In some cases the doctor may even recommend going more in-depth with vitals to make a record of it or refer out for more intensive laboratory work. A pediatrician who has known your child for a few years would also have the ability to look at their growth chart and assess the progress made in that regard since the feeding concerns began. This said, refer back to step one if you believe your doctor has chosen a more patience relying approach. It is common to see aspects of weight stigma played out within early assessment of eating disorders, regardless of whether your child is underweight. Your concerns are valid and deserve to be taken seriously. 

 It’s a good idea to see what kind of professional specialized support you can access within your area. You may choose to look on the internet, ask around your network (perhaps other parents have some ideas or experience with some professionals in your area), or ask your child’s doctor for a referral to an eating disorder specialist they may know of. 

This would also be a good chance to learn a little bit about the different levels of care which are available for those with eating disorders. In eating disorder care, there are of care: outpatient, intensive outpatient (IOP), partial hospitalization (PHP), residential treatment (RTC), and medical hospitalization. Each is designed specifically to support the severity of the disorder at any point. It may also be worthwhile to learn a little bit about your insurance policy and understand both in and out of network benefits based upon your plan.

When going through the process of scouting and selecting a professionals help you should also be sure to ask any questions that arise for you so you can have the greatest sense of clarity going forth possible. Any professional who is a prospective candidate for treatment should be able and willing to answer the questions you have regarding themselves, treatment, and payment. You should be sure to get all of the clarification you need before proceeding forth so you are the as comfortable as possible and get a chance to understand procedures. 

Last and certainly not least, be sure that you yourself have proper support and care in place to get you through this time. Caring for a child with an eating disorder can be overwhelming and uncertain at times which can create a large sense of isolation. Be sure that you yourself are making sure your own needs are met, you are treating yourself with compassion, have people to rely on, and seek professional support if you feel it would be beneficial. There are many other places for support as well, such as support groups, friends or family who may have gone through similar circumstances with children, or a partner who is in the thick of it with you. There are also many online support groups such as through excellent books and websites. 

Additional Resources: Knowledge is power! Access and utilize eating disorder resources, understand what it is your child is dealing with, and begin to formulate a plan to seek treatment. There are a multitude of resources out there from guides to eating disorders with parents, family doctors, and specialized therapists and nutritionists, and eating disorder information sites such as the National Eating Disorders Association, The Academy for Eating Disorders, and the National Institute of Metal Health. There’s a plethora of information out there, and its easy to get sucked into, remember that with the help of a treatment team and eventually your own child’s desire to heal there will be plenty of support. Be mindful that similar to WedMD, while the information is true it doesn’t always apply to your situation and it is easy for us to become anxious with all of the information presented. We wish you hope and healing on your journey. Feel free to reach out for guidance and support whenever needed. 

Click here for more information on Eating Disorder Treatment.

Happy New Year from LIFT

The clinical team at LIFT Wellness wishes each and every one of our precious clients, colleagues and friends a very happy new year. As we enter into 2021, gratitude for our many blessings is tempered by a deep and profound understanding of how brutal this year has been for so many among us. Words can’t come close to acknowledging this properly. We have walked through this strange and new territory together, and emerged stronger, collectively and individually. From 2020, we have learned to be grateful for things we once took for granted - movie theaters, dinners with friends, hugs from loved ones near and far. We have born witness to our own resilience, and learned to let nothing dim the light that shines within.

This quote I read recently by Sarte seems appropriate: "Look back, look forth, look close. There may be more prosperous times, more intelligent times, more spiritual times, more magical times, more happy times, more beautiful times, but this one, this small moment in the history of the universe, this is ours."

How is 2021 treating you so far? We may meaning-make a bit too much about the changing of the years, but the transition does have value. A brand new year, much like a brand new day, offers fresh perspective, motivation, and most importantly, HOPE for the betterment of what’s to come. Self-renewal is an essential component of healing and positive change. Many are only accepting of the concept of a blank page when the old calendar goes in the dumpster, but the truth is, infinite possibilities for new ways of thinking, being or behaving lie at our fingertips in each and every precious moment. As a family, we don’t really do resolutions, but I have set an intention for the year, as I always do, and that is PRESENCE.

Bringing full presence to every encounter is a simple and also nearly impossible (for me at least) feat and I can’t think of a more valuable human endeavor. Presence is the lifeblood of creativity, attention, love, care, and possibilities. Presence is devotion, commitment and dedication to living life fully, with eyes wide open. Presence is feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Presence is surrender. I wish you luck with your resolutions or intentions.

And to you; big, beautiful, brand new year — we say, Welcome.

So, You Have an Eating Disorder, and It’s Halloween

For those who suffer from disordered eating, food anxiety triggered by the upcoming holiday season may be enough to make them want to pack bags and shack up somewhere warm for the coming months. 

Halloween leads the festive three-month parade of family meals, social events, celebratory feasting, and for many, rationalized overindulgence. People struggling with eating disorders may agonize with how much to indulge, whether to abstain, how to self-regulate, and when to sit out of social events that could prove too pressured. Many clients report a fear of feeling judged or left out of rituals involving overconsumption, because their recovery requires them to follow a food plan and they’re not yet ready for intuitive eating. Some feel under a microscope in situations where struggles with fear foods cause stress and emotional distress. 

As always, success in eating disorder recovery looks slightly different for everyone. We treat clients in early recovery who will challenge themselves with a fear food this Halloween. We also treat individuals for whom self-care may look like abstaining from sugar, and this choice may make them worry about sticking out like a sore thumb on special occasions. It is the mere acknowledgement of these experiences that prime you to take the first step in understanding how to reclaim holidays like Halloween, and make them personally meaningful, so you can enjoy them in a new and healthy way. 

We always encourage clients to support and advocate for themselves in working through the fears and rigidity that have the potential to rob them of the joy of this special time of year. While food can be a bonding and culturally significant aspect of the holiday season, new rituals and traditions can be created that do not revolve around food and eating. Our dream for our clients is for them to participate fully in connecting activities and relationships, while operating free of food obsession. This may mean a period of time in new recovery in which additional supports are crafted, and boundaries drawn around what you think you can handle, in each step forward. Overconfidence can be as dangerous to new recovery as obsessive phobias can be. 

Collaboratively with your therapist and dietician, create an individualized plan to help get you through each holiday. A wise person once said, “fail to plan, and plan to fail.” Identify members of your natural support system that you can utilize for check-ins when things seem particularly hard. Plan to use an app such as Recovery Record, or food journal and call it over to your sponsor or therapist on difficult days. Create your own non- food focused plans, such as a pumpkin carving party, a foliage hike in the woods, a spooky movie night, “boo-ing” friends, corn mazes, or hay-rides. Bring your own car to events, and know that you may leave early, if you feel uncomfortable. Have a “safe” word with a trusted friend, to use in case you’re feeling an urge to use symptoms or behaviors. You can celebrate Halloween in new ways that suit you, with compassion and understanding that you are choosing new paths, because you hold the power to prioritize your own comfort and listen to your body and mind.  

Getting through Halloween may be difficult depending on where you are in your personal journey with food. This is just one day in the calendar, and however it goes for you, a new day will await you on November 1. Work at your own pace and focus on what feels right. Remember that with your commitment to your recovery, in time, the significance of food will fade into the background of the holiday season, and the emphasis will be entirely on sharing joy with those you love. Each holiday celebrated with self-respect will strengthen the quality of your recovery, and expand your range of coping skills and trust in your ability to self-care. As a rule of thumb, remember that all foods fit, in variety and moderation. Have fun, be safe and well, and have a Happy Halloween! 

Written by Mary Dobson and Natasha Pawa.

Click here for more information on Eating Disorder Treatment.

So, you’re a woman. And, you’re living through a pandemic. Now what?!

As the ripple effects of the coronavirus pandemic continue to unfold and expand, one thing has become clear: women are under siege. 

At LIFT, we are advocates and allies for women’s whole health; and most preeminently, mental health, which includes emotional and psychological health, as well as social well-being. Why? Because the state of your mental health determines how you handle stress, how you relate to others, and how you make choices in life, and its presence (or absence!) is critically important at every stage of life from childhood to adolescence to adulthood. Mental health problems affect every facet of your life:  thinking, moods, and behaviors. 

It is indisputable that women have been disproportionately impacted by the pandemic. Since March of 2020, mental health has fallen into a sharp decline for both sexes, but most prominently, for working women. According to a Total Brain survey, levels of depressed mood in women have increased by 83% compared to 36% for working men. Stats from USC’s Center for Economic and Social Research show that ⅓ of working mothers in two parent households report they are the only ones providing childcare (compared to 1/10 of working fathers.) Since March, it is women who have suffered the greatest job losses, and who have reported the highest levels of psychological distress (namely, anxiety and depression.) Also since March, 64% of college educated mothers report having to reduce their work hours, compared to 36% of college educated fathers. 

The situational stress triggered by these compounding stressors, on top of the day-to-day load of responsibilities that American women were already hoisting, is contributing to depression and anxiety being reported in record numbers. Mental health issues are even more likely to present when there are underlying biological factors (brain chemistry, genes,) adverse life experiences (trauma, abuse,) or a problematic family history. Depression and anxiety pop up when the stress of an individual’s present situation exceeds their ability to cope. Difficulties such as moving office work, going remote, learning new technology, maintaining order and routine with kids, career and financial insecurity in the face of recession, minimal childcare, isolation from friends and family, increased demands of child schooling, and monitoring the family’s health, have pushed women to a breaking point. To make matters worse, self-care and stress management, (coping skills which may have already been hard to come by!), have gone by the wayside. Yet, without self-attunement and fulfilling our own needs, we risk physical, emotional, and mental ailments. Now more than ever, protective barriers must be in place to insulate ourselves from the risk of burnout, which can manifest in sleep problems, headaches, chest pain, poor diet, difficulty concentrating, irritability, loss of motivation and pleasure, anger, and loneliness. 

We can’t pour from an empty cup. Mental health activities and interventions are designed to help individuals cope. Sometimes I use an analogy: The RMS Titanic was described as “unsinkable,” because it was uniquely equipped with 16 water-tight chambers that could be sealed off in case of emergency. This gave the ship's captain, and passengers alike, the illusion of invincibility. It was only after the collision with an iceberg in the North Atlantic that the crew became aware of a tragic flaw in this design: the ship could withstand four cells filling with water, but not five or more. It was the compromise of the fifth watertight chamber that sealed the ship’s fate. I used this analogy recently when speaking with a group of women about the importance of self-care. If stress is the sea, pouring into the boat, then our self-care is our watertight compartments. And, for even the most impenetrable person, too much stress will overcome the protective measures in place, and drag us down.

What are your self-care strategies? These can be any interventions and activities, from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to Mindfulness, that center and ground you to conquer your day from a place of positivity, presence, and peace, rather than panic. A participant in group shared yesterday, “I have realized that this pandemic isn’t going anywhere, so I need to learn how to manage my stress now, and live my life now, regardless. This means finding ways to take care of myself- namely, therapy, walks with friends, virtual happy hour, workouts, and journaling- because I can’t wait for ‘later’ to arrive. I can't wait for the pandemic to be over to begin taking care of myself and living my life." Personally, I have recommitted to doing yoga once a week, even if my children are running in and out while I’m doing it. This one hour of time found has been a personal victory. I am strong, but not unsinkable, and that humble knowledge propels me to continue to seek moments to reclaim for self-care. Please share how you’re taking care of yourself right now in the comments, and reach out if you’re looking for fresh ideas, accountability, or support in your emotional life during this time.

Click here for more information on anxiety therapy.

Health Anxiety: What It Is, and When To Seek Help

In a world where a large chunk of our daily news intake is currently made up of tallies and news of illness spreading, it’s understandable that such thoughts may begin to take over our psyches. Even pre-pandemic, thoughts and obsessions about becoming seriously ill, worries about coming in contact with illnesses, or over-analysis of symptoms, were commonly reported amongst our patients. What happens when these thoughts, and potentially anxiety reducing actions, begin to interfere with our lives? When the worries become interwoven with everyday living? 

Health anxiety is a condition wherein we cannot stop thinking about potential symptoms and begin to catastrophize them. We often create rituals or habits of inspection to look for anything seemingly out of place and then gather as much information on them as possible. After all, armed with the World Wide Web at our fingertips, it becomes difficult to not look up that “throaty” sounding cough, or that “headache above eyebrows.” But what if the answers only serve to exasperate our anxious minds, rather than put them at ease? In the case of health anxiety, deep diving for more information does little to satiate the nerves that come along with the feeling that there is something wrong; something that only we can feel. 

In our daily lives, our bodies do so much to keep us functioning, much of which we don’t ever stop to think about. Our bodies regulate our breathing, our heartbeat and rate, and our sight adjusts for every stimuli we encounter. However, sometimes these are sensations which we become hyper—fixated upon, and they begin to consume more time, thought, and energy as they used to. When we begin interpreting these normal bodily functions with the thought that something may be wrong, we begin setting off alarms in our heads — alarms that may be false. Sometimes, being overly concerned with harmless physical traits may provoke unnecessary and extremely draining worry and reactions. Even more, the symptoms of this undue anxiety cause their own bodily reactions. 

Anxiety can manifest in a multitude of ways including increased breathing and heart rate, dizziness, tingling in our extremities, chest pressure, stomach upsets, and so on. This begins feeding into a cycle which only perpetuates the anxiety and causes us harm, especially when we begin seeking reassurance from doctors. 

Can you spot any of these symptoms popping up in your life? You are far from alone. Health anxiety is now classified as Somatic Symptom Disorder or Illness Anxiety Disorder. The first step in finding relief begins with understanding and self-awareness. 

According to Mary Dobson: “Health anxiety is experienced by many of my patients who are indispensable in their own lives due to young children, important work, aging parents, and other imperative responsibilities. To me, health anxiety reveals that an individual is thankful for their life, and understands its preciousness. Perhaps the individual has experienced the premature or sudden loss of a loved one or friend, and posits that a similar fate could befall them. I like to reframe health anxiety as a way for patients to recognize how much they appreciate and value their lives, and how aware they may be that they are doing unique work on this planet in roles that provide them meaning, purpose, and designation. Such factors would make someone fear a loss. If ‘freedom’s just another word for nothing less to lose,’ then the opposite is also true. Buddhist monks sometimes meditate on the image of their own decaying corpses as a way to channel perspective and thankfulness into the mundane activities of the day. Morbid as this practice sounds, health anxiety is not so dissimilar. So, I encourage patients to vocalize their gratitude; and rather than fight their anxieties, channel them into a meditation, and let them add to the richness of their lives rather than diminish them.”  

If you suspect you are battling health anxiety, do seek support. Carrying big worries alone is arduous and ultimately fraying. if you have been to doctors for your physical symptoms, you may want to seek a counselor to help you bear the weight of these thoughts and sort through the mental symptoms in partnership and collaboration. By examining thought processes, patients can overcome the constant weight that anxiety about health has added to their lives. 

Co-written by Natasha Pawa and Mary Dobson.

If You Like Us and You Know It

Did you know that October is National Women’s Small Business Month?

This is a time to recognize the myriad achievements of our country's female entrepreneurs, and the positive impact they are making on jobs and the economy.

If you’re an owner of one of the 11.6 million women owned businesses in the U.S., this month is also about YOU!

Our Founder and CEO, Mary Dobson, grew up as a product of a hard working, small business family, where the lines between work and family often blended, as coworkers and customers became family. This is the culture she has worked to embody at LIFT; a company with an aim to lift up its team members AND its clients.

As many of you know, Mary works tirelessly toward her mission to eliminate stigma surrounding mental health care, and lift the field of mental health so that speaking to a therapist is as benign as receiving an annual checkup. She uses her platforms to humanize therapy and therapists, demonstrate accessibility of services, increase the approachability of mental health care, and make sure that people know that when they need help, ample resources are readily available. Early in her career, Mary observed that most owners of treatment centers were male. Mary is passionate about nurturing female leaders, and making sure young women have representation and models in leadership roles in healthcare. Since founding LIFT, she has been joined by many like minded female CEO’s, and together, they carve a path for others to follow.

While Mary is not a fan of flowers, cards, or candy, we would like to give her one meaningful gift to commemorate her 11th year in business.  Now, here is where you can help us recognize all of her hard work! This national women’s small business month, will you consider showing your support for our female trailblazer by following, subscribing to, or sharing our social platforms? 

Follow us along Mary Dobson, LMFT, CEDS, LIFT Wellness Group.

Let’s bring mental health into more conversations - into your feed - into our awareness. Let’s help #liftupct!

LIFT Observes Mental Illness Awareness Week 2020 4th October – 10th October

“If you do not make time for your wellness, you will be forced to make time for your illness.”

This week, 4 October - 10 October, marks Mental Illness Awareness Week 2020. The theme for this year’s #MIAW is “What People With Mental Illness Want You to Know.” MIAW coincides with National Depression Screening Day, which takes place on October 8.

According to NAMI, an estimated 46.6 million adults (that’s 18.9% of adults in the United States) currently suffer from mental illness, and these rates are only increasing in the pandemic. While mental illness impacts approximately 1 in 5 Americans in their lifetimes, up to 60% of sufferers will never seek treatment! Can you imagine any other illness with such an abysmal intervention rate? Why is this? And, what can we who are allies and advocates do about it?

Because mental illness presents in so many diverse manifestations, many are still confused by, or simply unaware of the true cause of a friend or a loved ones (or their own) suffering. While our field has come a tremendously long way since Hippocrates prescribed opiates and removal from job and home as “treatment” for mental illness in 500 BC (!), we have so much further to go as a society in understanding and empathically intervening in mental health issues.

Today, individual, family and group psychotherapy, and/or medication, are the standard of care for most facing a mental health crisis. These options are effective and life-saving - but impossible to accomplish without good screening and intervention work. At LIFT, we believe that screening for mental illness should be as commonplace as screening for cancer, diabetes, heart disease, or any other chronic health condition. MHAScreening.org offers a quick and easy way to determine whether an individual is suffering from a mental health condition.

We know that many of you reading wish to be allies in getting hurting folks to care, but aren’t sure exactly how to help.

It all begins with amplifying their voices.

Individuals who are suffering from mental illness often feel intense shame and alienation, and are therefore likely to isolate and hide their feelings. Early intervention is important, and saves lives. If you notice someone exhibiting warning signs of mental illness (ie; excessive worrying, feeling down or withdrawn, confused thinking, poor concentration, ups and downs, sleep changes, irritability, low energy, under or overeating, alcohol or drug abuse, excessive stress, difficulty handling daily problems or activities, changes in sex drive, or suicidality), SPEAK UP!

DON’T dismiss (“You should be happy because…”), minimize (“At least you’re not…”), argue with their logic (“I don’t see it that way…”, offer comparatives (“I went through something similar…”)

DO… Find a comfortable space to start an authentic conversation. Listen without judgment. Let silences happen. Sitting with someone in their pain is sometimes much more powerful than any words you could utter. Practice empathy, not sympathy.

Whenever possible, get the individual connected with a mental health screening. If an individual is uncertain whether what they’re experiencing is more than run-of-the-mill sadness, nerves, or mood fluctuations, a screening can help provide clarity and direction. A mental health screening does NOT provide a definitive diagnosis, but it IS a helpful tool for starting a constructive dialog about mental health.

Lastly, remember that while mental illness takes many forms and conditions, there are a myriad of treatment options available and the resources to get folks connected with the right kind. Some of our favorites are the NAMI Helpline (800-950-NAMI), the SAMHSA Behavioral Health Treatment Services Locator, MentalHealth.gov, and Mental Health America's Finding Therapy. As always, if you or anyone you know is in a crisis state, you may call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, 211, or 911, at anytime.

Beyond Pencils and Paper: Preparing Kids—and Parents--For a Vastly Different School Year

We are mere days from the start of an unprecedented school year. Summer’s end, and the start of a fresh academic year, always bring about a range of emotions—excitement, angst, anxiety and anticipation—for parents and kids alike. How do we prepare ourselves and our children, both pragmatically and emotionally, for a school year on the horizon that is fraught with such a lack of definitiveness?

More than anything else, our children depend on our direct communication, candor and emotional attunement. Let’s have open conversations with them in these final days leading up to September that help normalize their experience, and provide room for them to share their concerns without fear of our reactivity. You may wish to prepare them for a re-entry adjustment period; after so many months of family and home-time, children and parents alike will need to adjust to being apart, and being back in brick-and-mortar structures, for stretches of time. It may also be healthy to go over the possibility of school beginning and then returning to virtual, should the virus return, and to discuss the many steps being taken to reduce the probability of that taking place. Speaking about emotions and situations we are likely to experience in advance builds connectedness, reduces anxiety, and helps our children to understand that they are not alone with their big feelings. We can be transparent about our own difficulties confronting uncertainty. 

Like me, you have probably spent much of the summer asking yourself the “million-dollar question”: To send, or not to send? Perhaps you are now questioning that decision or experiencing self-doubt in your choice. That yellow bus, rambling down the road around September 1, whisking our children away for a year of social, emotional and intellectual development and scholastic achievement has always been something we can count on. Eek! Scratch that. No wonder so many of us have experienced tension, decision fatigue and stress. A steady and reliable system of infrastructure has been stripped down, tossed around, and reassembled in a way we don’t recognize. As parents, we are managing our own grief, frustration, fear and projections, while trying to model composure and instill confidence in our kids. 

First, I think we all could use a hug. We are each doing our best to ensure a safe and smooth path for our children, in uncharted waters, and therefore it has never been more important to be gentle with ourselves and each other. Second, I would like to suggest a courageous way of looking at this unusual school year. What if we attempted, both individually and collectively, to lean in to the uncertainty of these times? If I had to call out essential qualities for an effective life, I would use three words: Adaptiveness, flexibility and resilience. If I asked you to reflect, you would likely tell me that your biggest obstacles were what cultivated your character, and ultimately, produced your greatest results. I think we all theoretically agree that challenges force us to take a step back to examine what is working or not working in an objective way. In fact, I’m certain that, for you and I both, this recent reflection has already bred creativity and resourcefulness beyond what we all thought we were capable of.

While there are questions that no one can yet answer, we can focus on aspects that we can control. We can also remind our kids that unknowns are a part of life, and that while we don’t always like them, we do need to regulate through them. Be it in-person learning, distance learning, homeschooling pod, private tutor, or a hybrid model…we will each rise to the occasion this academic year. We’ve got this. We’re equipped. 

Originally published in "Greenfield Hill Neighbors Magazine August 2020 issue".

Click here for more information on child therapy.

Confronting Uncertainty in the Modern Age

Without question, the world was not prepared for a pandemic. My simple question is - why? Let’s take a brief historical dive and approach disasters in the natural world from the perspective of a bird’s eye view.

Studies show that there has never been such a safe time to be alive. For millions of years, human bodies and minds were adapted to running from predators, accidentally ingesting fatally poisonous mushrooms, suffering through famine and drought, battling through long winters, facing inadequate health interventions, and constant, unmitigated violence, to name a few. Over the past decades, levels of conflict, both in terms of number or magnitude, have been dropping steadily. Wars of all types- interstate, civil, ethnic, revolutionary- have been slowly disappearing. In pre-modern times, roughly half of all children died. In 2015, child mortality was down to 4.3% - that is 10 fold lower than two centuries ago. The risk for the average person dying has never been lower. 

Today, a far greater percentage of the world’s population lives in peace, more than any time in history. It seems clear that most citizens of the twenty-first century will lead mundane, peaceful lives, bothered perhaps by quiet desperation. This appears to have presented a sense of impermeability in some, or an expectation that life should be easy, faultless, smooth, unbothered and without influence from natural shakeups. 

We, and our clients, often experience surprise, shock and a lack of preparedness when bad things happen. Social scientists say that our happiness depends less on objective conditions, and more on our expectations. Here is the clincher, though: expectations adapt to conditions. When things societally improve, expectations rise, and improvements in conditions can leave us as dissatisfied as we previously were. In our pursuit of happiness, we can quickly get stuck on the proverbial “hedonic treadmill”: running faster, going nowhere. 

One factor seemingly tailor-made to prevent significant increases in global happiness levels is mass media. A woman living in a small village 5,000 years ago measured herself against the 100 other women in the village. Compared to them, she might have looked pretty good. Today, a woman living in a small village compares herself to movie stars, models and Instagram influencers. Our modern villager is that much less likely to be satisfied with the way she looks. The playing field of competition, comparison, compare and contrast, has been broadened exponentially. Similarly, years ago, an individual in one location would never have been made aware of ghastly events happening in minute-by-minute in other, faraway regions. Since the modern twenty-four hour news cycle focuses on single events that go wrong (plane-crashes, terrorism, natural disasters,) it presents a (false) appearance that tragic events are happening more often, when they are not. We are simply being informed about them more. 

Since happiness is based on our internal experience and not outward circumstances, we must aim to avoid relying on situations and things to bring us joy, and instead cultivate and grow our inward experience of joy within our bodies. Further, we must grow to tolerate and anticipate the inevitable rough winds of life. Life, modern-age or not, is not intended to be perfect or even ever-improving. Believing that bad things should not be happening in your life creates additional suffering. Bad things are not happening TO you - but they will happen. They are not personal, but to be expected as part of the human condition. Faulty expectations (life should be perfect) yield fear, a desire to take back the illusion of control, anger, and blame when circumstances do not comply with our expectations. We may feel that we live in a bubble, but we do not. Just like our pre-modern ancestors, we are subject to forces greater than ourselves (pandemics included,) and largely powerless over such disasters. This is meant to encourage, not discourage you. When we are prepared for the storms of life, and do not rage against them, we are able to approach them with dignity, calm, composure, resilience, and inner strength. 

A Definitive Recap of the Narcissistic Abuse in ‘Succession'; in Anticipation of Season 3

Have you viewed the show ‘Succession’ on HBO? (Spoiler alerts to follow.) The show is comedically brilliant as well as emotionally profound. Its true protagonist is Kendall, the loveable yet damaged middle child of a narcissistic abuser, the patriarch of the Roy family, Logan Roy. Logan has four children, all of whom jockey and dance for his affection, and each of whom have internalized his narcissistic abuse in different manifestations. Logan’s firstborn, Connor, is a grandiose and clueless egocentric who seeks companionship from an emotionally unavailable woman. His eldest daughter, ‘Shiv,’ chooses a devoted partner she can manipulate, having grown up with a largely absent father figure. His middle son, Kendall, turns to drugs and alcohol to numb the pain of his cold and rejecting parents. And his youngest, Roman, is a chronic underachiever who uses humor to deflect massive insecurity, and is chronically single, as he can’t let himself become close to a significant other due to a myriad of neuroses and intense fear of rejection.

All of these depictions are common representations of the offspring of a narcissistic abuser. 

While this show has many prolific lines, the most prominent comes when Logan has an opportunity to pass the CEO title of his media empire to a credible and respected businesswoman, Rhea, played by Holly Hunter. Unfortunately, after getting to know Logan and his duplicitous intentions, Rhea informs Logan that while she wanted the role to work, she “can’t see to the bottom of this puddle.” In essence, she is saying what she has learned about Logan: that there are no limits to the lengths he would go to in order to preserve his self-interest; no end to what he would do to protect his fortune and reputation. This statement foreshadows Logan’s ultimate decision to use his most vulnerable child, Kendall, as a scapegoat to take the fall of years of corporate cover-ups and corruption. In a heartbreaking scene, Logan tells his son of his plans, and adds that Kendall could never succeed because he ‘is not a killer.’ It is only in this moment, when Logan shares his choice to betray his son to save himself, that Kendall becomes capable of becoming a killer after all, and publicly speaks out against his father for the first time. Metaphorically, father attempts to kill son; son must choose between killing father or self; son kills father, to himself live. 

Interestingly, and as frequently happens in actuality, the betrayal of his loyal son is what finally sets Kendall free to see his father accurately, and accept the conditionality of his love and the hopelessness of trying to please him. This moment is celebratory, as it’s what Kendall needed to come into his own as a true adult, independent of the financial and emotional chains of his family. Not only is justice being served to Logan at long last, but Kendall has found his way out of the shadows, and can have a chance at happiness and a future unmarred by his father’s puppet strings and abuse. The sacrificial lamb refused to play his part, but not before realizing the truth of who his father is, and acknowledging that whenever faced with choice, his father would sacrifice someone else, to spare himself. This characteristic of Logan is what prevents him from being a father in the true sense of the word. The natural order infers the parent sacrifices themselves to preserve their child. When pressed, Logan does the reverse. This is “the bottom of the puddle” that Rhea couldn’t find, because it was never there to begin with. 

‘Succession’ is the true story of narcissistic abuse, and how it evolves in children over the lifespan. While some forever remain ‘adult children,’ emotionally crippled and never evolving into independent selfhood, others experience clarity and radical transformation, enabling them to break free of the cycle of abuse, and either stand up to, or cut off, their oppressor. This is the case of Kendall Roy. Season 3 of Succession is anticipated later this June. I look forward to seeing Kendall coming into his own, and am rooting for as happy an ending as can be afforded to him. Such bravery and insight warrants a powerful outcome. 

Have you, or someone you know, suffered from narcissistic abuse? Read more here to tell the signs, begin to take back your power, and get help, today.  

Reforming and Reframing: The New ‘Body Positivity’ as a Social Justice Movement

Last night, or more specifically, in the wee hours this morning, I completed the annual @iaedp #iaedp2020 symposium- the first-ever virtual edition of the conference (thanks, covid-19,) and also, the best quality content I’ve seen produced in eight years as a member. The most impactful modules of the conference were relevant and very timely presentations related to social justice, inclusion, representation, and diversity in the treatment of eating disorders. 

When I first started in this field, I was ignorant of the history of diet culture and the body-positivity movement’s roots in anti-blackness. A deep dive into the topic of body liberation has revealed the long-standing history of racial discrimination in the body-positivity movement. 

In 2019, body positivity became very topical, with the emergence of Lizzo, statements by Jonathan Van Ness and Sam Smith, celebrities saying no to photoshopping and questions about their weight, Rihanna’s lingerie line, Savage X, and Taylor Swift speaking out about “retraining her brain to accept [her] body every day,” to name just a few. 2020 is asking us to look within and challenge where our societal standards of beauty originated, and how deeply entangled they are in antiblack cultural undertones. 

Here’s the thing. Body-positivity is more than a candy-coated buzz phrase. Body positivity is a social movement that promotes positivity around your individual viewpoint of your physical body, advocates that all bodies are valid, and rejects the societal injunction that those who deviate from the status quo are undeserving of love and appreciation. Body positivity does NOT mean that a person loves their body all the time, is 100% comfortable in their body, or does not wish to improve their body. Body positivity IS the daily mental and physical work of honoring your body as it currently is, because you are a living, breathing creature deserving of dignity and respect, and that must begin from within. 

I believe it goes without saying that there is no liberation for ALL bodies without the liberation of marginalized bodies, including Black women. 

We at LIFT have been asking ourselves this week what our role looks like in supporting the #BlackLivesMatter movement. In listening to our Black colleagues and friends, this much has been made clear: dismantling fatphobia, and discrimination against all marginalized bodies, is an integral part of our contribution. 

A question to reflect upon, today: Am I really ‘body positive’ if I harbor oppressive anti-fat or anti-Black sentiments in my psyche? 

There are many still much more knowledgeable and informed than I on this topic, and I encourage you to follow their work, as I am continually educated by their content and contributions to the field. Please read: “Fearing the black body: the racial origins of fat phobia,” by Sabrina Strings, and start by following on Instagram: @thebodypositive, @encouragingdietitian, @la_eathority. In honor of Ahmaud Aubrey, Breonna Taylor, Nina Pop, George Floyd, and countless other victims of systemic racism and injustice, we humbly commit to learning, listening, knowing better, doing better, and doing our part, today, and every day going forward. 

“The beauty of anti-racism is that you don’t have to pretend to be free of racism to be anti-racist. Anti-racism is the commitment to fight racism wherever you find it, including in yourself. And, it’s the only way forward.” -Ijeoma Oluo

“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.” - Desmond Tutu 

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” -Martin Luther King Jr.

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” -Martin Luther King Jr.

Imagine me… beyond what you see

To all outward appearances, you look like you have got it all figured out. Academic life on point, work promotion locked down, supportive friends and family who always have your back. Too bad no one can see your insides- plagued by insecurity and fear, you battle through every day by controlling your diet and exercise as a way to shrink your larger-than-life feelings down to a manageable size. But it doesn't last. Every day, the same war is waged. You know that life should feel better than this, but you can’t imagine how things could be different than they are. 

LIFT’s specialized team is devoted to helping individuals learn how to finally deal with emotional pain and distress. We work with clients to build better relationships with food, body, and exercise. We believe that peace with food and body are our birthright, and we’re ready to begin helping you uncover possibilities you haven’t previously considered. 

Make no mistake- there is work entailed. But you are ready. You’re tired of yo-yo dieting and fighting against cravings and urges. You’re tired of punishing your body with excessive movement for indulging. You’re done working so hard to be perfect, but in your own mind, having it add up to ‘never enough.’ 

You should know that we practice from an “all foods fit” and Health At Every Size ® approach, which means we believe that all foods can be good, that there are no bad foods, and that all bodies, both big and small, can be healthy and fit. The latest scientific evidence indicates that variety and moderation are the keys to a balanced lifestyle. We will not rest until you, and all of our clients, organically know that they are worthy of love, appreciation, approval and kindness, and that it is our culture of superficiality, body shaming and thin privilege that need to change, not you. Many clients come to us with lifelong internalized trauma from a longstanding history of rejection, judgment and misguided advice from medical professionals, the media, peers, and loved ones. For your information:

1. Having fat doesn’t mean you are fat. Having fingernails doesn’t mean you are fingernails.

2. Fat doesn’t diminish your worth, and should never diminish your enjoyment of your physical body.  

We at LIFT use evidence-based practices to assist clients in learning how to manage anorexia, bulimia, food addiction, binge eating disorder, emotional eating, compulsive overeating, restrictive eating, compulsive over-exercise, disordered eating, and body image. If you are ready to schedule a session or a consultation appointment with a team member, call us today. 

National Mental Health Month

As national mental health crisis emerges, LIFT continues to respond with efforts geared at prevention and early intervention.

May is “National Mental Health Month” (#NationalMentalHealthMonth,) a month dedicated to fighting stigma, providing support, educating the public, and advocating for policies that support people with mental illness and their families. It also draws attention to suicide, which can be precipitated by some mental illness. 

With nearly half of Americans reporting the coronavirus as harming their mental health (poll: Kaiser Foundation,) it is a timely one at that. A federal emergency hotline for people in emotional distress registered a more than 1,000 percent increase in April compared with the same time last year. 

The impact of pandemic on the lives of Americans looks different for all of us. For first responders, the fear of contracting the illness coupled with the trauma and powerlessness found in witnessing the loss of life on a broad scale, puts frontline workers at high risk, notably demonstrated by the two New York health workers without a history of mental illness who committed suicide within the past thirty days. 

But what about those of us who are not frontline workers? We at LIFT are seeing an increase in marital disputes and domestic violence as partners turn on each other over work and financial stress, and crumble under the weight of attempting to homeschool children and perform their job duties without adequate childcare. Children are afraid of contacting the virus, grieving their classmates, teachers and coaches, and acting out without adequate supervision, structure or routine. Teens are concerned about meeting academic benchmarks without proper support, heartbroken about missing their anticipated milestones (prom, graduation, sports events, summer jobs and camps), isolated from their peer support systems, and hopeless about when they will be able to resume their normal activities. College aged students are petrified about entering the workforce, paying rents on first apartments, and launching in uncertain economic times. Substance abuse, suicidal ideation, self-harm, binge eating and other eating disorders, and postpartum depression have skyrocketed, and after eight weeks, there is no visible end in sight. 

We have ample data on the psychological and societal implications of disease outbreaks, mass unemployment and economic downturns. We at LIFT believe that in addition to virus mitigation efforts, health system planning must begin to include mental health services to combat the psychological damage wrought by the pandemic. Early interventions, prevention efforts and a national response can and will make a notable difference in these early projections. The CDC writes: “Coping with stress will make you, the people you care about, and your community stronger.” LIFT is offering immediate pandemic response (An Open Letter To Our Community About COVID-19 — Lift Wellness) for our first responders, underemployed or career-transitioning Americans, and all new and returning patients at this time. If you or a loved one is experiencing new or worsening symptoms, please do not hesitate to reach out for help. You are not alone. Support is available, and while difficult circumstances are inevitable, suffering does not have to be.

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Resources

• Regis College: Guide to Mental Health Screening in Schools

• Rider University: Refugee Mental Health: Resources and Services

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What is the Health at Every Size Movement?

March is “National Nutrition Month,” so we at LIFT have asked our resident dietitian and certified eating disorder nutritionist to contribute her expertise. Below, she weighs in on the HAES (Health At Every Size) movement. 

Diet culture in the United States continues to run rampant and has negatively impacted how we view our bodies and food. Chances are, even if you have never tried a specific diet, the messages that our bodies need “fixing” or that specific foods are the culprit of obesity, are everywhere. For example, a study conducted on body image disturbance in 2015 showed that 50% of 13-year-old girls are dissatisfied with their bodies, and that percent increases to 80% by the time they are 17. And this doesn’t just apply to females- about 50% of men are dissatisfied with how their bodies look. Unrealistic cultural standards for body types as well as the extreme focus on dieting/weight loss leaves a disproportionate number of people unhappy with their bodies. When people are unhappy with their bodies, we go to great lengths to lose weight or change our natural shape. The diet industry makes $60 billion per year, capitalizing on the very insecurities that they often promote! 

Luckily in recent years, people have begun to take note of the toxic effects the current body/diet culture has on our lives. You may have seen an increased variety of body types in clothing advertisements like Target. You may have noticed some brands, such as Aerie, hire non-models to wear their apparel or prevent advertising images to be photoshopped. Maybe you started following body positivity promoters, such as Tess Holiday or Lizzo on social media. And if you have ever received treatment for disordered eating, an eating disorder, body image disturbance, body dysmorphic disorder, etc, you have likely heard about “Health at Every Size®” (HAES®). For those of you who haven’t, it is a new paradigm of how to achieve increased body/weight positivity and inclusivity. Here is more information about HAES® to help you combat diet culture and jump on the body positive bandwagon:

Health at Every Size® focuses on how healthy habits and behaviors are more important than a number on the scale. 

According to the Association for Size Diversity and Health, the HAES® model includes five major principles:

1. Weight Inclusivity: Accept and respect the inherent diversity of body shapes and sizes and reject the idealizing or pathologizing of specific weights.

2. Health Enhancement: Support health policies that improve and equalize access to information and services, and personal practices that improve human well-being, including attention to individual physical, economic, social, spiritual, emotional, and other needs.

3. Respectful Care: Acknowledge our biases, and work to end weight discrimination, weight stigma, and weight bias. Provide information and services from an understanding that socio-economic status, race, gender, sexual orientation, age, and other identities impact weight stigma, and support environments that address these inequities.

4. Eating for Well-being: Promote flexible, individualized eating based on hunger, satiety, nutritional needs, and pleasure, rather than any externally regulated eating plan focused on weight control.

5. Life-Enhancing Movement: Support physical activities that allow people of all sizes, abilities, and interests to engage in enjoyable movement, to the degree that they choose.

Sometimes, people feel resistant to the idea that your weight does not have to be the deciding factor to determine if you are healthy or not. When encompassing and living with the principles above, being healthy takes on a whole new meaning. The focus is no longer on finding a quick fix to drop weight fast. It takes a gentle approach to honor your body shape and your body’s needs while promoting appropriate behaviors that encompasses all areas of health. I don’t know about you, but respectful care including eating and moving for my well-being to enhance my entire life sounds so much better than any crash diet out there! 

If you want to learn more and become part of the movement, signing the HAES® pledge is a great first step. You can also follow the #haes and #healthateverysize Instagram hashtags to see awesome HAES® content. If you want to dive deeper into these principles and learn about the research to back up the movement, check out the book Health at Every Size by Linda Bacon. I encourage you to join the movement, you will not be disappointed!

This article was contributed by Nicole Ferri, RD, CD-N, CEDRD, owner of Inspire Nutrition Counseling, a partner of LIFT Wellness Group.