Mary Dobson Interview with Hartford Courant
Mary Dobson, LMFT, CEDS, is a mom of two, and CEO and Founder of LIFT Wellness Group, a counseling, psychotherapy and behavioral health group in Westport, Connecticut. She was raised in Fairfield.
AMANDA BLANCO: What concerns do you have for the female students who were targeted by the bracket? From the perspective of a therapist, how does this objectification harm them, particularly during adolescence?
MARY DOBSON: “I think that many parents, educators, and providers were surprised by the bracket because we very much wish to believe that the treatment of women has evolved since our own school-age years. The past decade birthed #metoo and a much greater societal awareness of the traumatic impact of marginalization on individuals and groups. Studies show that the objectification of young women leads to low self-esteem in an already vulnerable group. As a certified eating disorder specialist and with a long career treating adolescents, I am particularly concerned about the the phenomenon of self-objectification, which occurs around this age, when young women internalize the culturally idealized images in the media and in their natural environment, and proceed to compare their body image with this ideal. When comparisons are drawn FOR them, as was the case here, pitting them against their friends and peers, this is particularly destructive and damaging to a young woman’s developing self-esteem. As therapists, we look for compensatory behaviors, such as food restriction, exercise, and other forms of body manipulation, as symptoms of this greater malaise brought on by pressures from the external environment to be accepted and belong.
AMANDA BLANCO: Do you feel it is important to continue talking about this, in public or private discussions? Why or why not?
MARY DOBSON: What was fascinating in this scenario was that many young women stood up against the posts in question, and used strong voices to demonstrate that they did not find this acceptable. In a way, while this particular situation and behavior was unacceptably and obviously egregious, it is important to continue discussions on as it is a microcosm of what teens report happens daily in school, on the sidelines, and on the weekends during social time. We as humans are constantly judging and evaluating in our heads, and that is an inherent part of normal cognition. With that said, the potential to publicly humiliate and evoke shame grows exponentials with the use of social media. By the time these brackets were removed, literally thousands of eyes had viewed them. Such mass rejection has never been feasible before at any time in history. What do we know of the implications of this on a 14 or 15 year old developing personality? I would be remiss to add that the potential for public shaming of the perpetrators could also cause tremendous harm. Those responsible for the bracket, as out of line as they may have been, have surely suffered more mass rejection over the past week than they could have comprehended. While we hope this will be a learning lesson for all, many parents have not approached it as such. The costs of making a childhood mistake have truly never been so great.
AMANDA BLANCO: Going forward, what steps would you like to see taken by adults in the community to address this situation and prevent similar behaviors from taking place in the future?
MARY DOBSON: Fairfield County, and the town of Fairfield, is a relatively homogenous community of many upper middle class families. Research shows that the more similar individuals are, the easier it is to compare, contrast and compare. This makes being different especially challenging, particularly as an adolescent. Families and communities featuring individuals who emphasize appearance and status breed children and adolescents who emphasize appearance and status. And, adolescence is a time of heightened image-consciousness. “Bracket-gate” triggered many adult women because of its absurd suggestivity that the public education system is a beauty pageant, where young women go to perform for appraising young men. The entitlement and presumptuousness of this idea is upsetting given the history of disrespect women have received in this country, and how hard we and our ancestors have fought for something close to a level playing field. Some parents suggested that the young women made a retaliation bracket against the young men. One need not be a feminist to know that there is no comparison between the two groups, one of which has been chronically and historically misrepresented (see studies on girls diminished participation in classes in co-ed groups in adolescence) In order to avoid a toxic culture of women who feel they are in school to be graded on their appearance, we need to take a strong stand against the early sexualization and objectification of our children.
