Couples Therapy

Do You And Your Significant Other Feel Distant From Each Other?

Are you arguing more and struggling to see eye to eye?

Do you feel like you’ve fallen out of love with each other?

Have you begun to feel like you’re just roommates going through the motions of life together? 

Maybe you’ve been feeling lonely in your relationship, like you’re not seen, heard, or understood. It’s like there’s an invisible chasm between you and your partner. Although you still love each other, you don’t feel deeply in love. Your spark may have burnt out and sexual intimacy may be nonexistent. For the first time, you may find yourselves considering a couples therapist.

Your Relationship Could Be Hurt By Unrealistic Expectations

When you look at social media, you probably see numerous couples posting happy, star-crossed photos together. The constant exposure to other couples’ “highlight reels” can make you feel left out, like your relationship is the only one struggling. It can also lead to expectations for a perfect relationship, as if you shouldn’t experience conflict at all.

The truth is that conflict is inevitable. All of the happy couples you see on social media are experiencing it, too. Marriage and couples therapy with Lift Wellness Group can help you realize that you’re not alone and give you the skills to manage conflict, rekindle your intimacy, and fall back in love.

Even The Healthiest Relationships Go Through Seasons Of Struggle

All too often, couples get so caught up in the magic of the honeymoon phase that they forget to prepare for when it ends. They expect the relationship to continue feeling effortless and free-flowing. As a result, they’re not equipped to deal with financial disagreements, differences in values, and arguments about their future together.

Many couples despair as soon as these problems arise. They worry that their relationship is doomed and start engaging in comparison culture, thinking, “Our relationship isn’t as happy as X and Y’s, so maybe we’re not meant to be.” But even the healthiest relationships experience conflict. Having a healthy relationship means working through conflict constructively instead of trying to avoid it.

Many Couples Don’t Realize The Way That Old Relationship Insecurities Affect Them Today

We are always carrying old experiences into new relationships. If one of us was cheated on in a previous relationship, it’s only natural for us to have trust issues afterward. Or if we grew up with a demanding parent, we might struggle with people-pleasing behaviors because we’re scared of letting the other person down. In this way, our attachment insecurities are often grounded in feelings of low self-worth, fears of abandonment, and other emotional wounds from the past.

On your own, it isn’t always possible to uncover all the complexities of different attachment styles. But with the help of a trained couples therapist, you can get to the bottom of relationship dysfunction and figure out where the root of your conflict lies.

Therapy Can Help Couples Work Through Conflict Peacefully And Constructively

You and your partner may not be able to repeat the honeymoon phase, but you can renew your sense of love for each other and move on to a healthier, more mature connection. That’s what marriage and couples therapy can help you achieve. At Lift Wellness Group, we want to help both of you improve communication, increase caring behavior, and learn to resolve problems collaboratively.

In addition to standard couples therapy, we offer counseling for couples trying to figure out if they should stay together or go their separate ways. We don’t provide mediation for those who are already divorced, but our therapists can help couples weigh their options if they’re considering divorce.

What To Expect In Couples Counseling Sessions

Oftentimes, the first step of therapy is looking at how you and your partner learned to interact as a couple. This means exploring your parents’ relationship, your early childhood relationships, and any relationship messages you’ve internalized because of the culture you grew up in. We might even look at what kind of relationships you’ve seen celebrated on TV or social media. This way, we can unpack where your expectations come from and evaluate how realistic they are.

On a practical level, we want to help you and your significant other learn new communication skills so that you can work through conflict without getting into destructive arguments. We’ll also explore ways to deepen your intimacy and improve your sexual relationship. Even if your relationship lost the intimacy it once had, counseling can give you strategies for revitalizing it and rekindling your spark.

Creating Your Couples Counseling Plan

Our approach to therapy varies depending on the counselor and the couple. We often use Emotionally-Focused Therapy, which can help you and your partner meet each other’s attachment needs and transform negative communication patterns into positive ones. Many of our therapists also draw from the Gottman Method, which teaches healthy communication and equips you with the skills to avoid criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

No matter how stuck you and your partner feel, it’s important to remember that there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship. But with the help of a supportive counselor, both of you can work through your imperfections and come to love each other in a deeper way.

You May Have Some Questions About Marriage And Couples Counseling…

We can’t go to therapy because we don’t want other people knowing we’re struggling.

Therapy with us is always confidential. No one has to know that you’re seeing us unless you want them to. That said, there’s nothing to be gained by hiding problems or trying to “fake it till you make it.” Lots of other couples are struggling, even if your social media feed might suggest otherwise. There is no shame in being honest about your shortcomings.

My partner doesn’t want to go to therapy with me.

If your partner is hesitant about therapy, we would be more than happy to provide a consultation to ease their fears and talk to them about their concerns. Oftentimes, when one partner doesn’t want to attend sessions, it’s because they think their therapist will tell them what to do or side with their partner “against” them. None of this is the case. Our mission is to support both halves of a couple equally.

If your partner is truly resistant to coming with you, we encourage you to pursue individual counseling with us. Although having both of you in sessions is ideal, you can still work through many of your relationship hangups on your own.

We are fighting over finances and don’t have the money for couples therapy.

Insurance usually offsets the cost of therapy. That said, this is an investment in your relationship that can bring about future peace and wellness. It’s important to prioritize your relationship, since it can save you time and money down the road and ensure that your connection remains strong for years to come.

You Don’t Have To Keep Feeling Distant From Each Other

Counseling can help you improve communication, decrease unproductive arguments, and move forward as a couple. To get started, use the contact form or call our intake number at 203-908-5603.

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Contact Information

Phone: (203) 908-5603

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