Bless Us, Every One... A Christmas Wish for you and I

Over the course of December, I had the pleasure of attending the Westport Country Playhouse production of A Merry Little Christmas Carol, adapted from Charles Dickens classic, A Christmas Carol. It was a Script in Hand reading, written and directed by Mark Shanahan. Script in Hand playreadings are intimate storytelling vehicles: no sets, no costumes. Just talented actors, bringing a story to life. This performance was a particular joy, as it reminded me of the true and resounding, timeless message of Charles Dickens words, penned in December 1843, yet still relevant, and perhaps the most important encapsulation of the spirit of Christmas.

In A Christmas Carol, as you may remember, Ebeneezer Scrooge, a prominent businessman and well-known curmudgeon, is visited by three spirits in one night, each intending to deliver a message to him about himself.

Have you ever been awoken in the night, full of a conviction, insight, or a determination about something you need to do, or be? I have, and it’s an experience one doesn’t forget. A searing clarity of direction can be enough to wake one from a sound sleep, with a burning desire that feels equally compelling when the sun rises.

Perhaps this phenomenon could be explained away by science. After all, our brains are very active doing important things in sleep. In fact, pronounced changes in electrical activity of the brain during sleep suggest that the brain’s trillions of nerve cells are literally rewiring themselves (especially during deep, slow-wave sleep,) creating an illustrated map of information, making new connections, and breaking other ones. This process enables us to put emotional experiences into context and produce controlled and appropriate responses. (Matthew Walker, University of California’s Sleep & Neuroimaging Lab, 2007.)

If you have had the experience of being awoken by a compelling sense of urgency to take action, or an awareness about yourself or someone else, you may seek even further explanation for this experience. Educational psychologist, author and sleep advocate Diane Gillespie wrote, “and the myth is that in the middle of the night, great insights come to us… sometimes… but also means they will fly by us during the day…”

When we are awake, we are busy rushing, achieving, and checking items off our to-do list (as was the case for Ebeneezer Scrooge, who left little time for matters of the conscience or the heart.) When we are asleep, however, we are still and receptive: open to new ideas, alternative viewpoints. Moments missed in the busyness and striving of our day may be integrated, seared into memory, and suggestive of more than what we noticed or observed at the time in our waking state.

This was true for Ebeneezer, who was haunted, if you recall, by three spirits: the past, the present, and the future. The past illuminated WHY he is the way he is. Scrooge was emotionally neglected; he suffered trauma and abandonment by his parents, and he was emboldened by educators who told him his only value is in production, because he wasn’t good enough to simply be loved. We later see this play out in intimacy issues; Ebeneezer cannot accept love from or be attuned to his fiancé, which drives her to leave him, fulfilling his fear that he is, in fact, unlovable. In this spirit visit, Ebeneezer gets a birds eye view of his life, and for the first time, experiences compassion for himself and the circumstances that led to him becoming who he is, and how those early life experiences drove, defined, and limited his present day.

The spirit of the present revealed to Ebeneezer how he presents to others, and all that he was missing by remaining closed off and disconnected from his community. This was something Ebeneezer had never considered in a waking state. While signs and cues had been there all along, his brain had never consciously taken stock of this perspective. This vision planted in Ebeneezeer a longing for more, a desire to be different, and the belief that perhaps the decision to do and be so would be up to him.

The spirit of the future was the last to appear. Ebeneezer was able to make a conjecture based on all he had learned, that continuing in his path would only harm him, and render his existence meaningless. It was this spirit that frightened Ebeneezer the most. Having taken stock of his life, Scrooge realized that he is a human being, not a human doing. He saw clearly that he had been surviving, and not living. And, Ebeneezer understood, for the first time, that life is preciously short, and that he was missing out on the full human experience in his singular effort to accrue wealth. He was being driven by his neuroses, fear of irrelevancy, and compulsions, and not by his heart. This final spirit convinced Ebeneezer that he could no longer go on in the manner he had been living, for to do so would be a fate worse than early death.

Concluding these spirit visits, Ebeneezer famously vowed to change, and change he did. Such a heartfeltawakening to life’s true purpose is powerful. Reflecting on one’s life, impact, and eventual passing, is vulnerable and life-changing work. Due to emotional limitations, this work could only happen in a dream-state for Scrooge, but it can happen more effectively during planned and strategic psychotherapy sessions, and through regular meditation, yoga, journaling, and breathwork.

Like Ebeneezer, let us not let another year go by missing the point! Look around you, and see your heart. Take the time to reflect, to integrate your body and brain’s infinite wisdom, and to actively and intentionally participate in your life, so there may be few regrets.

Let’s change the future by understanding the past, accepting the present, and realizing our true power to experience and enhance our lives. As Charles Dickens wrote: “I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will remember the lessons of the Past; I will live in the Present; I will live toward the Future. The spirits of all three will strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach.”

For those of you local to Connecticut, please do not miss the opportunity to experience the gem that is the Westport Country Playhouse Jason Robards Theatre. You can also make a tax-deductible charitable donation, or give a gift card for a live theatre production to a loved one that will support the arts in our local community, by visiting www.westportplayhouse.org.